My love-hate relationship with domestic help

I have recently moved back to Pakistan and am actually running a household of my own for the first time in the Pakistani set up; previously lived in London, Dubai and Canada and the home setups were pretty similar in all three places where you have a dishwasher, you do your laundry in the washer and dryer yourself and you vacuum and broom alternate days and its enough for that tiny apartment you live in. Coming back to Pakistan, especially as a mom of a 1 year old I was pretty excited and looking forward to the domestic help readily available at fairly affordable wages. I imagined that I would run my home like I managed my work in the office; I'd have a timetable for the maid, and have responsibilities divided into days and a certain level of expectations set from day one. I had it all sorted out in my head; I wont shout at them like I'd seen my elders do, I'd be polite , treat them nicely, yet firmly - make sure they are clear of my instructions and expectations and that should do the trick to managing the perfect home in Pakistan. I even decided that instead of having 3 or 4 different maids for different tasks, I'd just keep 1 (for a household of 2 people and an infant that should be good), and make sure she's always at my disposal and well trained. Also having only 1 maid means, no politics between servants which is quite prevalent as I hear from my close friends and family. But like they say, 'easier said than done'. I started looking for help; they came, they went within a day or two. Some lasted a week. Reasons for leaving were unknown; weird stories reached me through our chowkidar who gave me a rather masala version of why the particular lady had decided to abandon me. I was shocked to hear the kind of excuses for leaving and accusations against me, including 'baji doesn't give us food!' (not true), 'baji keeps a lock on the fridge (which I hadn't done yet, but yes I used to keep an eye on my fridge very closely), 'baji doesn't give eidee (despite having given them eid clothes)..and so on. In my head it was straight - I pay you wages, you work for me. No extra gifts, or extra pocket money. Whatever I give you for emergency reasons, comes out of your pay. Yes in extreme circumstances there could be a case for additional add on charitable pay or bonus but at least work for me for more than a month or two to deserve even that kind of help. Also, in my head, if you're a christian maid, I don't give you eidee on Eid, I give you gift money or clothes on your Christmas (makes sense No? )

On one hand the help does feel amazing when I don't have to dehydrate my eczemic fingers in hand dish washing; I no longer need to wash bathrooms like I did earlier. I don't have to do all the boring pre-work , chopping for cooking. I get it all done for me and I can just work on the taste and final touches of the food. Sounds amazing...yet since I'm new to this domestic help system, almost any day that my maid decided to take a day off without telling me, I felt a bit of relief (along with the obvious frustration at first); a relief that today I was on my own, my kitchen was mine, a sense of privacy and ability to delay some tasks if I wished to, there's  no one I need to train or mind today, nothing to worry about those rings I left in the bathroom, or about my purse lying in the lounge while I went to the bathroom, no one creeping behind my back and watching tv with me, no one eves dropping conveniently into my skype sessions or phone calls and then at times also referring to those conversations and giving free suggestions (which in my case are never welcome! In my world, you're domestic help, you do your work and stay out of my personal phone calls). I am especially irritated by my driver, who is slightly sluggish when it comes to his real job i.e directions, finding addresses, remembering important landmarks and a bit too over efficient in making small talk which is useless for example when I sit in the car he would go 'Baji I heard you on the phone talking about medicines, are you ok?', or 'Baji how is your daughter today', or 'Baji I hope you haven't forgotten your phone upstairs' - I mean, for Godsake, are you my driver or my personal assistant? Keep your eyes and ears on the road and not on my life! I try to give him the shortest possible 'yes/no' answers and sometimes I rudely stay quiet to give him the hint that his stupid questions are not welcome. Soooo, I do admit that I myself am part of the problem here; domestic help might just seem very normal acting like this to all my other locally based family and friends but to me it is new and its funny how I respond to some of their natural flairs and how I take offense from some the seemingly very much expected behaviour on their side. 

This evening I was told by my chowkidar that the baby sitter who used to come play with my toddler baby girl will probably not come (because she didn't think I gave her good enough eid clothes). To her it did not matter I suppose that she and I had already decided that she would be going to school starting this September and work for me only in afternoons and weekends on the full day wages . Perhaps it wasn't even the girl, perhaps it was her mother who got scared of the thought of school and decided to put her to work elsewhere where she could earn a 1000 a month more even if she didn't go to school. It's sad - I feel sad. I am unable to understand their psyche, and even if I do I'm not sure I can counsel them to think differently. It might be possible, but I'd probably have to become more well versed with the culture and dynamics of the domestic working class for that. God bless me and them! 

BLISS: Education, Entrepreneurship and Empowerment for Young Girls

As a matter of fact, most young girls in the rural areas of Pakistan drop out of school before or by grade 5. That is only, IF they get a chance to go to school. While having no money to pay the school fee is more than often the reason why girls drop out of school, even free education becomes almost impossible to attain when families depend on their girls to earn during the day time so that they may share a meager meal before going to bed. BLISS (Business and Life Skills School) has come to the rescue to at least one such rural area, Attock, a small town in northern Punjab, province of Pakistan.

BLISS is unique in their approach and model. It is a model that allows young girls to use their talent to earn money and study under the same roof, so that they don't have to make a choice between the two. This solution is actually customised to the core reason why girls were dropping out of schools in Attock. In Attock, young girls are bread earners for their families and the only source of income for most girls is carpet weaving, a highly labor intensive job that pays very little for the amount of effort and time it demands. Girls are usually working 12-14 hours a day and one carpet can take up to a month to complete. Even then, the money they earn is not always enough to support their families. With 12-14 hour long work days, there is absolutely no hope and time for education. BLISS instead diverted these talented hands onto making something that takes fewer hours and earns a lot more money than carpet weaving. These are beautiful embroidered designer hand bags. Girls can spend 1/3 the time and earn higher wages by selling these bags into the cities in Pakistan and also in the international market.

A lot has been said and applauded about BLISS in the media over the past one year but I believe no amount of words and recognition are enough to support a cause like this midst the sea of social, non-profit causes where it becomes almost impossible to decide who is the most deserving of your donation. Saba Gul, the founder and director of BLISS is an inspirational youth figure who has put in her mind, skill and time into devising this scalable, sustainable, social entrepreneurial model for girls across rural areas in Pakistan. BLISS is different from other NGOs that only provide funds for school fee, or provide free education - where it is difficult to track whether the money was ever spent on education or on other needs of the family, or to monitor attendance of each and every student in the rural school. With BLISS, the parents are encouraged and almost forced to send their girls to school where they learn how to make these designer hang bags, which are then sold to provide for the family. Sending girls to school is a source of income for the parents and a source of education for the girls where in addition to 'bag making' they also study the regular school curriculum.

After going through the achievements BLISS has made over this short span of just over a year, I was highly enthused to support their cause. I have volunteered to help with introducing their products to the international market here in Canada. This is something BLISS had already planned on venturing out on after their successful exhibitions in major cities of Pakistan (Lahore, Islamabad and Karachi) . They have recently tied up with international ambassadors in UK, France and Seattle to market the brand and build a customer base outside Pakistan as well. (Link:Bliss goes global). I hope we can soon add Canada to the list of their international buyers.

If you're in Canada and interested in owning a BLISS bag that will help a girl stay in school - here are some pictures of their 2011 collection, Sozaankar. I have ordered a couple of pieces already as samples, so if you're concerned about quality and value for your money - you can always look at the real thing by getting in touch with me via my blog.

More on the BLISS Story: Check out this great MSN video - Bags for Bliss: Design for social change

Confessions of a Confused Patriot

Scientists once conducted an experiment: They put a frog in a tub of water that had a burner underneath. Gradually they kept increasing the heat by fraction of a degree everyday. Every day the frog's body adapted to the increased temperature. They still kept on increasing the temperature up to a point where normally a frog would jump out of the water not bearing the heat, but because it was done little by little everyday, the frog did not feel the difference and its body kept adapting.

Then one day the frog died. 

It died because it should have died in the first place. It died because if you had put a frog into this temperature out of fresh air, it would have jumped out in the first place. 

This one did not act immediately, but died eventually - like the people of Pakistan, because the burner was raised so gradually that we learnt to live with burners like bomb blasts like we drink tea everyday."

Since childhood I have been a true patriot, always very passionate about my homeland, its economic and political situation and with undying urge to serve my country. Then something happened - I moved out of Pakistan for work and spent almost 4 years out of the country. Also, I left at a very crucial time, before the fall of the Musharraf military rule, before the Lal Masjid operation, before the Judiciary strike, before the Benazir killing, before Mr. 200% percent (the most hated man in Pakistan right now, Asif Ali Zardari) came to power, before power shutdowns became a nightmare, before the floods happened - I left at a time when Musharraf was still considered to be doing better than most other governments before. I visited often but that did not spoil my cherry-eyed image of my country. It was not until 2011 when I moved back to Pakistan, that I realised how much this country had deteriorated over the past few years. I had heard about it, but I had not believed it until I saw it for myself. The divide in the rich and the poor is at its worse, the common man is at his worst economically, socially and medically. The recent floods have brought so much more contamination to the country, there are more people dying of Dengue right now than of chronic illnesses.  

However, been born in raised in Pakistan, and being from the fortunate 10% who can still manage to afford generators, sweet water tankers and petrol at the sky rocket prices,  I managed to settle back in. But I did forget, although I was lucky enough to provide basic needs and basic entertainment for myself in Pakistan - I could not imagine to feel as liberated, as care free and find opportunities as easily as I could while living abroad. But this part of the equation only hit me when I moved out again (just last month) and came to Toronto. Landing in Toronto, I saw such amazing social infrastructure, offering such easy access to learning, training, entertainment and that too without any security or social threat - that it almost felt like I was breathing again! There are free libraries and community workshops, there is free assistance in language training and job hunting for new immigrants; one can walk out of their home anytime, without having to worry if your clothes look great (referring to the condition of the Pakistani elite right now), or that the neighbour's security guard is going to stare at you as if he had encountered a rare species. 

Its sad, and I confess, I am not the frog that was in the pond, I am the frog outside the pond that jumped in, felt the heat and jumped back out again!

As a native, I am still all for doing something to improve the situation for Pakistan, but I don't think I can be happier just living there as a dormant part of the problem.




P.S: While I confess the above, I still stand by the firm belief that Pakistan is a young country with problems of its age and additional problems due to constant international interference and dependence. I still believe that terrorism is not a problem we invented for ourselves but a problem that was shoved onto us for 'someone elses' global agenda (call me a conspiracy theorists but conspiracies are an exaggerated version of some lurking truth underneath). I still believe that media does blow Pakistan out of proportion, not because they show the bomb blasts that rightly take place in the country, but because they fail to show what 'else' (good) happens with our budding youth. (Reference to my earlier post: Re-Launching Brand Pakistan)

Back to School!

So there is this whole 'back to school' phenomenon here in North America that I'm experiencing for the first time. Everyone's just blabbing about it, from a pencil to a car, everything is on a 'back to school' promotion and deal. I'm reading moms posting messages on facebook about how 'bullying' is uncool and literally every TV commercial talks about back to school. Its not like I haven't seen 'back to school' happening back home, I mean every country has this post summer phase when kids get into new grades with new uniforms, and new books, stationery etc. We have ourselves experienced this excitement too as kids but what makes me smile and kind of laugh time and again is how 'big a deal' it is over here (in a good sense). 

The only thing that disturbs me though is how back to school advertising from clothing brands focus on the 'cool' or 'uncool' school wear and how they emotionally seduce moms to buy their kids new wardrobes so that they do not face self esteem issues when they go back to school this year. At the same time this part of the world experiences more bullying issues at schools which I think is somewhat also fueled by not having uniforms in school. By not having uniforms you're opening a whole new opportunity of discrimination, finger pointing, prejudice, increased self indulgence and consumerism among kids. Whats even more ironic is that its the public schools which do not have uniforms (most of the private ones do), whereas you have more children from the middle class and immigrant backgrounds studying in public schools. Being an immigrant is in itself sometimes food for bully-ism; so to add to your different colour, you now have your dress sense or money (or the lack of it) add to the diversity overdose in schools. 

As they go to the next grade with perhaps more books and heavier curriculum, the last thing I would want my kid to worry about is his/her clothes and whether or not they look cool enough for school. And it doesn't just stop at clothes you know, its all those accessories that go with it (and for girls the list is never ending). I think when it comes to student life, I like the old school thought from back home in south asia where people think strictly about exams, sports, extra-curricular and activities that add to your character and not more. Our schools did not even allow us to have a different coloured or fancy pony tail, let alone anything else. And I think that really kept us from being distracted by our or other students' appearances.

I think there is at least one element that needs to be removed from this whole 'back to school' phenomenon in the media, and that would be the 'wardrobe'. 

p.s this is what you get when you type 'back to school' on you tube (just notice the order and you'll understand my point). 

You want to Litter? Fine.

I know that Littering is a much repeated and reinforced topic, but what brings me to re-state the obvious here is my little experience today while I was in the car with my family outside a juice shop near hussain chowk, Gulberg (Lahore).

While waiting for our juice order, the car infront of us just spat out a disposable glass of juice. At that moment I and my family wished someone had done exactly to him what the video up here shows! My aunt almost got out of the car to correct those young teenage lads (as we later saw through the car) but she stopped short realising that they seemed the sort who would react foolishly. So alternatively she requested the juice shop waiter to pick up the litter which he willingly did.

This little incident got me in to thinking about ways to bring about a change in people's very casual attitude towards littering and I started looking into what other developed countries have been doing. During my search I also came across a concerned group of Pakistani's running the campaign called "Don't mess with Karachi" (http://www.deal.com.pk/index.htm), apparently inspired by 'Don't mess with Texas' (http://dontmesswithtexas.org/view-ads/) one of the most impressive anti-litter campaigns (speaking creatively) and I was glad to see that someone somewhere in Pakistan is also trying to bring about this positive change. 

So with out going into much criticism (and assuming that MOST of us do act oblivious and immune to litter once in a while), I thought I'd play my little part in being the change I'd like to see around me. Here's my humble resolution & suggestion list:

Can we please:

1. Never throw litter out of the car, instead carry it home to our bins?

2. Always fold our gums into a paper and then throw them into bins? 

3. Not feel ashamed to point out to others that they've just littered? If difficult to correct them in person, can we instead pick up what we see thrown in front of us? That would certainly cause embarrassment for the litterer! 

  

4. Not squish our cigarettes on the road or pathway while walking. Neither toss them out of the car? 

I know the list could go on for ever - but if we could just start with those FOUR above and make them second nature to us, I'm sure our cities would be degrees cleaner than they are today. 

And if the Government really does want to make money out of the public, heavy littering fines should be a better way than increasing all kinds of other taxes. At least it will do some good to the country! 

P.S : Littering really is Uncool! 

The confused graduate...

Have you come across people who tell you they became who they are by chance or luck and not by conviction or passion? I have... at my work place, at university, at college - I have come across professionals and students who are pursuing a particular career or opting for a course because that just happens to be something that was financially lucrative, or something their parents advised (in some cases 'forced') them to do, or because they happened to get a particular job offer or acceptance letter into a program. Now many of these people might be doing great at whatever they are doing and might be very happy with themselves as well while others drag themselves to class or work because they just 'have to'. Some people make it big by virtue of chance and random decisions, while others spend years yearning for one thing and pursuing another. 

In Pakistan, where there is still lack of career counselling services and programs and where parents still have their pre-historic, risk averse views about professions and their scope, young o-level and a-level students are almost led to making subject choices by virtue of their grades or luck. What they choose as their subject in a-levels/Fsc/FA to some extent leads them to the university program they are well suited for. Since the first decision was not based on thorough potential and aptitude analysis, neither is the next level and the next level until they join the work force where they finally realise that they had been going in the wrong direction all that time. Since its too late to change or go back now, often people work hard and try to maintain their performance just so that they remain employed. But such people keep themselves unhappy and their colleagues frustrated because given their natural in-aptitude or passion for that job, they cannot progress beyond a certain limit, thus holding back the entire team they work with. This kills their own self-esteem too and impacts their career path in the longer run. 

I think career counselling starts way before children get into colleges; a good exposure to a wide variety of options either through mentor-ship, internships and personality assessments can help a student realise at a very early stage as to what they are naturally inclined towards. And this exercise needs to be done repeatedly in short intervals to test for natural evolution of interest that often leads youngsters to change their mind every few months (which is alright, as long as they do it at the right stage). 

While professional career counselling services might take their due time to develop in schools and colleges, as elder family members (uncles, aunts, elder siblings or cousins) we should take interest in our up coming generation and help them figure out what it is that they would like to stand for in life. Because honestly, the career you choose is likely to take up 70 percent of the hours in your 'non-sleep' life. If you think of it this way, it better be something you really enjoy and can excel in with the least amount of pain. 

You can take them along to spend a day at your work place during their summer/ winter vacations. It would be good for young students to come for a round to the offices of banks, factories etc. to get a feel of the work place; some of them also spend a week or two at the office, even if they are too young for internships yet. The kind of work environment your career entails also has a lot of stake in your career choice so although students might not understand what exactly the employees are doing sitting at their computer screens or before assembly lines, simply the feel of the work environment will also help them understand their professional temperament.

Ideally, it would be good if schools also organised for professionals from different fields of arts, science, business etc to visit their students once in a term and talk to them about their jobs. Students could also follow up with one on one meetings with the guests later on. I know that guest speaker sessions are held at undergraduate and graduate schools (like Fast, NUST, LUMS, IBA) but that is more like narrowing your core area or choosing the employer in the field that you've already chosen. Broad career choice is made much before a student enrolls in a university and similar seminars, sessions need to be held in secondary level schools too. 

I went for a personality assessment by Meyer Briggs ((http://www.myersbriggs.org/) some years back and I found it to be very useful in defining and reassuring me of my strengths and accordingly suggesting the careers and functional roles that suit my personality. I was surprised at the accuracy of the tests results and now having worked for the past four years I see myself playing along the same strengths and the same behaviour that the test had identified in me. ) 

I want a job BUT... (Dilemma of the working home-makers)

Today I wanted to write about something closer to my own heart and current situation in life. Ever since I remember back from school days, I haven't really had a long holiday or relaxed lifestyle. Being the over ambitious and studious kid that I was, always worried about grades and involved in five other extra-curricular activities, I hardly had time to spare for anything other than 6 hours of sleep and sometime even less. 

Running about from grade to grade, I finally enrolled into an MBA program which made my routine crazier - and my mindset even more competitive and career oriented. Right from day one in your MBA class you know you have to fight for the best job in the market - and if you get it you go to the next level of 'having no time'. Thats exactly what happened to me. As ideal as it may seem - I pursued an Investment Banking career in London right after graduation. Having exhausted myself in the 8am-10pm (on good days) routine for about 2 years,  I decided to slow down a bit and come closer to home. So I moved to Dubai and found a job in the Consumer Goods industry which gave me a few extra hours to myself but still kept me pretty much on my toes. 

And then life took its course and I got married. As I had 'idealistically' planned, I took sometime off to enjoy the first few months of this new transition in life and also to settle in with the change. Being the restless workaholic that I had become over the years, this break was only pleasant for a while and my soul started to feel idle and useless very soon ,and I'm now back on a serious job hunt....BUT... but the dilemma now is that having seen, read about, and experienced the horrors and stresses of corporate life, I know and understand the kind of impact it 'could' have on your family life if you're not an excellent 'gymnast' when it comes to work-life balance. This is more relevant for females as they share a greater share of the responsibility of home and kids. 

So now I am looking for a job, and a good one, but I feel like the corporate sector still hasn't progressed enough to accommodate the very natural and crucial transitions like marriage and motherhood,  in the life of their female employees. Not many companies are well set up with 'agile work spaces' that allow you to function flexibly out of the office. Day cares are now an upcoming trend but still has a long way to go before it becomes one of the key facilitations in the eyes of Human Resources.

'Job share' is another concept which sounds quite appealing to those for whom time is more relevant than money. In this case two employees are employed at the same position and they split their salary and hours in half. This concept again is quite unexplored by most companies. It is understandable that this is a hassle from the management point of view where a manager has to supervise two instead of one person for the same job but on the other hand its not likely that both female employees would take leave or become mothers at the same time which makes it easier to hold on to the work load when such a situation arises. Instead of having no assistant, you have 'half an assistant' while you find a replacement for the other half. And in many cases because the job sharing colleagues work very closely, one can take the load of the other on a temporary basis. Companies also offer the job share partner to take the full load and full pay if they are interested.

The job share colleagues choose the hours that suit them - and can exchange hours when they need to move around work for a need at home. It also brings more competitiveness to the team as job share colleagues are constantly at a comparison. They know they are not the only assistant and they cannot exploit the manager. They also know that when it comes to dealing with cross functional teams, their manager has two lenses to view a situation from and therefore there are chances for less bias (on softer issues etc.)

While I am still only a wife and not a mother and could afford to work full and manage home exhausting the best of my energy and organisational skills - I am conscious that I 'could' be at another stand-still situation in a few years with motherhood. I might be thinking too long term but that's exactly how the corporate sector needs to think if they do not want to face high turn over of their female employees who are now in significant number and at quite strategic positions.

I recently read a very good book called 'Womenomics' by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay (two high flying journalists) which talks about the dilemmas, stresses that career oriented females go through when they start making homes and families. They are almost at a loss of options to keep their conscience and intellect satisfied at the same time! While its completely alright to choose one way or the other if that's clearly your priority, but most women after having worked full-time would like to remain intellectually engaged and productive while they still manage their homes and play their part as mums. The book also ‘re-defines success for women’. I recommend this book to all females who're at this stage or planning this stage in their life and careers. I also think employers should take learning from this book to devise such HR policies and work arrangements that females to be able to progress beyond mid-career levels with least negative impact on their home lives and nerves! :) 

Teach For Pakistan - Start the Movement

I came across this movement called 'Teach for Pakistan' (TFP) which is an initiative to attract top quality talent to contribute a couple of years of their lives towards education for the underprivileged masses in Pakistan.

This model is not very new - it has been previously tested in the States under the name of 'Teach for America' and in the UK by the name of 'Teach First' and now beginning August 2011 it will be tried out in Pakistan. 

Almost every bright young talented student in Pakistan who can make it to Oxford, Harvard or Cambridge will prefer to plunge to the opportunity to pursue their prized international degree and flee from the home land. Similarly, those who have recently graduated and are looking for well paying careers would never even consider teaching in the rural areas as an option. What 'Teach for Pakistan' does is that it offers you a starting salary matching that of the corporate sector in Pakistan to go out and teach in the suburbs and rural areas for 2 years. At the end of the years you will not have lost out on the corporate world because companies like Unilever and GSK are partnering with TFP to offer its Alumni internships and guaranteed   interview calls. Also TFP has affiliates of the like of Harvard Business School who give credit and recognition for work experience at TFP in their selection process. TFP also commits to training its employees with necessary transferable skills like organisation skills, communication and leadership skills, entrepreneurial skills which are valued at any other B-school or corporation. 

I think this effort to reduce the gap  between the 'haves' and 'have nots' in Pakistan is a great one! We need to realise that sacrificing 2 years out of our lives may not necessarily drag us down, but it can thrust a nation upwards! 

Moreover if you come to think of it - no business can make money in a poor, jobless population so its only fair that large businesses and corporations as well as graduate schools help develop 'their future clientel and   consumers' for their longer term sustainability and growth. 

TFP is currently hiring and their hiring criteria is not any less rigorous than a top level corporate. If you're  an experienced professional looking to add a few years of 'social responsibility' to your life, or a fresh graduate looking for a decent salary - you can still apply for this fellowship at this link: http://www.teachforpakistan.edu.pk/website/?page_id=496 

"Its How you Say it"...Toastmasters Leadership & Communication Program

Toastmasters International (http://www.toastmasters.org/) is a public speaking and leadership training program running in various countries across the world. I became a member of this non-profit organisation back in 2004 in Dubai. My dad introduced me to Toastmasters (TM) where he and his office colleagues used to get together every 2 weeks to practice speaking before an audience. 

We all come across instances in our daily life where we need to speak up - whether it is an office presentation, dealing with clients, teaching, giving a farewell or welcome speech or simply talking things through with out spouses and children. Most of us feel nervous when we are up against a big audience and thats only natural. At toastmasters you are given the chance to practice before audience, before you have to actually speak in a real life situation. It is a very organised training program with a structured meeting design and training manual to follow. Every Toastmaster (member of the club) has to go up the levels as per the TM manual to improve their speaking skills. 

I have personally benefited so much from this program that upon my return to Pakistan I decided to open a chapter in Lahore. So a group of us enthusiastic MBA fellows from LUMS, intiated the first chapter in Lahore, The LUMS Toastmasters Club.(http://www.facebook.com/pages/LUMS-Toastmasters-Club/105540849515567)

Toastmasters helps you improve your skills across different aspects of public speaking including voice clarity, body language, vocabulary and even styles of speech e.g. motivational, convincing, emotional, humorous. It is a fun place to be in and interact with people from all kinds of diverse backgrounds, professions and ages. Once you reach a certain level, you can then participate in regional speech competitions and finally enter the global Toastmasters conference held annually in different parts of United States. You can find a full overview of this amazing programme on their official website (http://www.toastmasters.org/). 

I was visiting as a guest at the Karachi Toastmasters Club ((http://karachi.freetoasthost.org/)) meeting yesterday and I was utterly impressed by how professionally and enthusiastically the team is running the Club.  Apart from building your speaking skills, Toastmasters is a great place to meet new people and to get motivated! 

Lawn Lunacy...

 If you've been in Pakistan since the beginning of this summer, you would not have missed (even if you wanted to) the huge billboard advertisements for the numerous and ever growing branded lawn exhibitions. For me this was the first summer after many years that I spent in Pakistan and this whole 'Lawn Prints' phenomenon, as I like to call it, came as a surprise to me.  I have never felt as much rush and excitement in the city's female population on any other national, cultural or social event as the 'Lawn Exhibition Season'. These least expensive of these three piece lawn suits (with some extra frills and laces) costs around Rs.4000 and the upper end goes up to more than Rs.7000. But you still cant wear it until your 'dear tailor' who is now as costly as a designer stitches it and he/she would not take less than Rs.1000-Rs.1500 for a suit that even has the slightest designing to it. Now these days it would be a sin to wear a simple shalwar kameez ; you must have some cuts and pieces at the borders or a panel in the middle if you don't want to end up looking from another era. So the minimum, a ready to wear lawn suit would cost you is Rs. 6000 (including the price of the suit, additional laces and tailoring). The tragedy is - that even after spending so much money, time (at exhibitions) and effort (to look different in the print that almost every women is ultimately going to have in her wardrobe) you end up with a 'casual suit' which you cannot wear at a dinner party. The other tragedy is the never ending series of 'copies' that have already entered the market for those who could not afforded branded lawn; so that makes your 'very expensive' supposedly 'unique' lawn suit, even more common.

But that's not the real problem - the real problem is the shallowness attached to this 'lawn lunacy'  if I may call it. What I hear about these exhibitions (which I boycotted) from my friends and family is that they were like a 'mad house' of ladies jumping over each other, pushing each other just to grab that piece of cloth done by 'sana safinaz' or 'vaneeza'. Some ladies even came back disappointed saying that it was so suffocated and ruthless that by the time they reached the stall, no more prints were left.
So piece of cloth can make us so called sophisticated elite women turn into 'mad cats'.
The other disappointment comes from the supplier end in two ways. One is the quality of the lawn; it is becoming so thin and 'see through' that now men more than women are looking forward to these prints coming out to the market. Especially in summers when the sun is so bright you can hardly hide your legs in such 'crape paper' like lawn. Second - are the designs and trends being endorsed by the top designers. The designers have no idea how easily they can lead a whole nation to indecency. There was a time when we just saw 'sleeveless' and we thought... Alright, thats perhaps the most we can do to look modern and stylish . But now its about 'back less' and 'shoulder less' and you've already seen the 'capri'. Sometimes you wonder if western wear is actually more decent than our latest lawn shalwar kameezes. I do respect that everyone has a right to wear what they please - whether it be covering or uncovering, western or eastern, but what I don't like is using the 'traditional pakistani' form i.e. shalwar kameez (which also happens to be our national dress) as a vehicle to promote fashion that is totally out of sync with our culture. The western media is doing us enough favour already in terms of exposing us to options to western wear and we need our designers to design according to our culture rather than the French culture. This indecency was all over the place on billboards across cities in Pakistan (barring Junaid Jamshed who chose a very graphical ad and avoided using women as tools of advertisement) .
So all said and done you might be thinking "well its easy to criticize, but thats what it is, a decent lawn suit today Does in fact cost you Rs.4000 and we have to live with it". Well, not really. I've done some research of the market and I found some very good looking prints from Lala Classic Lawns and the like for Rs.750 - Rs.1000. And if you wish to spend a bit more and look a bit more formal, I think you are better off wearing a ready made Khadi kurta (worth Rs.3000) with your ever lasting pair of jeans or standard white/black cotton pants. At least you are relieved of the effort on the laces and cuts and the extra money at the tailor; and you're still wearing something unique and stylish. If however you aren't very brand conscious (like me) and would like to play it smart than I can tell you of a Khaadi look alike (and it literally looks alike) shop in Defence Phase 4 market (Karachi); they weave their own cloth like Khaadi does, but they sell it at about Rs.1300 for a 3 piece suit and shirt pieces range from Rs.350 to Rs.700.
Just to give you a sense of the equation, I actually bought myself 8 pieces of cloth at this Khaadi look alike shop and in about Rs.6000 (including designing, stitching and frills) I have now 8 suits that are actually unique and easily mistaken for actual "Khaadi".

I can bet no one will be wearing a copy of what I wear this summer :).

P.S (I've also discovered a tailor in today's world who charges Rs.350 for a suit with designs including panels and pleats)